Friendships, true friendships have always eluded me. I've seen the concept in TV shows and movies, on stage in plays, and even at the occasional cafe. I've posted on social media about my idea of friends, and how the world is truly lacking humans of integrity. Are we all just brainwashed? Rhetorical question, because of course we are. We have been taught and conditioned to think and feel a certain way. This, in turn leads to expectations that most likely cannot be met.
Have you ever made plans with a friend, just to have them flake out at the last minute? Do you know that person who, every time you call, they bombard you with all their bullshit, and then say "oh, sorry hon, I gotta go!" -click-?! Yeah, we all do, but we also aren't taking various factors into consideration. You most likely have fallen into the opposing role of one of these scenarios at some point in your life. Let's be honest, there was probably a time where you had something come up that you wanted to do way more than joining your friend for whatever activity you had planned. And let's be real here... most likely that thing that came up was your bed!
It's okay, accept it and allow it. By becoming mindfully aware that we all do these things from time to time, perhaps we can be more understanding and forgiving when it happens to us. Now, with that being said, let's also set some healthy boundaries, because I'm not saying that you should just let your friends disregard you or screw you over. No, no, no. I am saying the opposite. Here's what you do, set healthy boundaries, just like you would in any relationship. For instance, you may tolerate your significant other flirting harmlessly with a stranger, but cheating is a non-negotiable. Well, the same goes with friends, if someone close to you lets you down time and time again, then take a moment to reassess the value that this person is adding to or subtracting from your life.
We may be putting our friendships under too much pressure when expecting too much. This is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way. It's easy to fall into the "poor-me" way of thinking, and just harp on the fact that your friends don't care about you, or that you don't have any good friends. Well, the truth is that true friends are rare, I'm not talking about associates or hangout buddies. Those come a dime a dozen. I'm talking about those non-romantic, soul-sparking connections. The people that you can talk to for hours and then wonder where the time went. The ones who check in on you when they know you are going through a rough period in life. The select few who can make you laugh, even when you feel like crying.
Friends are important. Friendships are priceless. Cherish them, nurture them, grow them, invest in them... they will be with you for the rest of your life, if you let them!
Dedicated To My
If you are new to an area, or you just need to make new friends, here are a few apps that I found:
Meetup, Peanut (For Moms), Skout, Nearify, MeetMe